Give up Later

Giving up is Hard

After all you're giving up on your dreams. On a better life. On pleasure, fulfillment, joy, health, strength, whatever it is. It surely must be hard to give it up. So why do we?

Those new year resolutions, for most of us they're long gone by the time we reach February. Isn't that amazing?! You create this inspiring vision, you want to change your life for the better and then in a matter of a few weeks you're ready to give it all up. Has that vision lost its charm?

Failure

For most of us unfortunately our definition of progress greatly hinders our ability to achieve it. Some goals are easily measured others aren't. One could argue, that it's easier when you see if you're making progress. Let's say I want to learn to do 10 pullups. 

I start at 0 and only after 2 weeks do I get to do my first one, although I train 4 times a week. Have I been slacking for all of that time? Obviously not. Also if I make progress to 4 pullups and then fall down to 3, although I continue to work out regularly, does it mean I'm failing?

The progress curve to success is not a straight line. It's usually much more jagged than we would like. It also means, that judging yourself based on the outcome just doesn't make sense! Your effort and time spent very often is a much more quantifiable yardstick of your progress.

What's more, with each step and each action taken, remember to reward yourself. You came through, did that training, maybe the outcome was much worse than before, but that's fine! Even Iga Świątek loses some tennis matches. Does that mean she's not the number one - 1GA? Making progress is not a zero sum game in most cases. Be gentle on yourself. Do the hard work, but appreciate every step of the way.

It's the journey that counts

I really mean it. Fortunately, we often come to love what we detest in the beginning. The first time I went for a group fitness session I almost escaped after the first 5 minutes. Too easy in the beginning, too hard after 15 minutes. I was sweating like crazy. I didn't like the music. I felt embarrassed and weak. Yet my wife was there and I promised.

After a few sessions I was totally hooked. For the first few weeks the progress was astonishing. My body ached miserably, but I was regaining shape in a tempo, which made me assume I'll be superhuman any time soon. Unfortunately after the initial burst the progress slowed down and then plateaued totally. Why? I was still working out hard, but now I had to put in so much time and energy to become even better. Should I give up?

This is normal. The reward decreases, progress becomes very slow and so this is the moment, when those who survive the first few weeks or months drop off. We start to doubt ourselves and the rationality of continuing. To make even more progress you normally need dedication to put in even more effort and do it over a long period of time which separates the majority from the masters. 

But there's a different option. What if you actually

Fall in Love with the Process ♥️

Our brain is a piece of marvel. It can be our best friend, but if we let it loose it can also be our demise. When we force ourselves to do something hard, or painful, there's a formidable barrier to cross and almost everyone gives up. Yet what if not only the carrot is larger than the pain, but the whole activity is just really fun?

Let's stick to the gym. Instead of going to an ugly, smelly den, if you went to a amazing studio, which has an inbuilt cinema, where you can run or bike (yeah, that is a thing now, I love it), you went together with your friends, had fun competitions and than rewarded yourself after each and every time, would you quit then? Hell no! Your brain would be screaming that it wants all that dopamine. You'd have not only social pressure to assist you, but also a sense of belonging and community from the group.

You can transform almost every activity this way, even your work often. Not only is life more enjoyable, but with proper design you come to love the activities that drive you forward!

That's it for today! Have  fun and see you soon!
Tomasz